We have all heard about ’emotional intelligence.’ This is a frequently discussed topic among adults in recent years. Today, we will also talk about emotional intelligence in children.
What exactly is emotional intelligence?
It is the ability of a person to understand, recognize, and above all, control their emotions.
Emotional intelligence is one of the most important factors for success because we live, work, and communicate daily with other people. It is emotional intelligence that forms the basis of successful communication, both at work and in personal life.
This kind of intelligence includes empathy, the ability to hold a conversation, and to accept a different point of view. It also involves the ability to express ourselves and our feelings.
Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that children should start learning from an early age. While they are still young, they have great difficulty recognizing their emotions and dealing with them. Here, the key role of the parent comes in. We need to help them by responding to their feelings and gradually teaching them how to recognize their emotions and control them. In this way, we help children achieve self-awareness.
How to foster emotional intelligence in your children? Here are five tips:
Notice your child’s emotions.
Children need to learn how to recognize their feelings. We can help them by identifying their emotions by their true names. When your child is upset about losing their favorite toy, you can ask them, ‘I think you feel angry. Is that correct?’
Words that describe different types of emotions such as ‘angry,’ ‘upset,’ ‘shy,’ ‘happy,’ ‘excited,’ and others will enrich the child’s vocabulary and help them express their feelings and emotions more easily.
Notice and encourage positive behavior.
Encourage good behavior in the child. Praise them for doing the right things. Of course, you don’t have to be obsessive and comment on every word or reaction. Be observant. Don’t let certain behavior go unnoticed. Children love incentives. They are looking for them. It is better to bet on them in education than on making remarks.
Be an active listener.
Being an active listener is an essential part of developing emotional intelligence. This requires full involvement in the conversation—to follow the dialogue, to show with gestures that you are following their thoughts. When the child sees that you are actively listening to them, they feel loved and calm.
Respond to the needs and feelings that are causing the problem behavior.
If the child is disobedient, this is usually a signal of strong feelings or unmet needs. If you do not pay attention to these feelings and needs, they will simply explode at some stage, provoking problematic behavior. So instead of scolding the child for not listening or pretending to be distracted, you could say, ‘I understand that this morning is difficult for you. I’ll come and pick you up as soon as classes are over, and then we’ll have a special time together, okay?’
Set a personal example.
Children learn best from the personal example of their parents. If we are caring, respectful, and kind to our children, they will learn to behave in the same way with others. Of course, this is not always easy. We are often tense, we fight more than we want to… But we can use these moments to set a personal example for our children. By apologizing. By asking for forgiveness. By admitting we made a mistake. By explaining our behavior.
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